Week 33

Baby’s still doing ok. I’ve been so worried but baby seems to be doing well in spite of all the issues.

It was such a huge relief to see my own gynec today. She was just like “man, you keep developing all these rare issues!” (Ok, this sounds weird when I write it but it was actually quite comforting). I kept asking what I was doing wrong but.. all these are things that just happen and no one understands why. At any rate, there’s an end game now.

Induction is (mostly) scheduled for Jul 19. Basically the moment I hit full term, baby’s coming out. Mostly I’m relieved — it seems like baby will be much safer and healthier on his own than in my body with a myriad of issues going on.

Is this my ideal L&D. No. Do I care? Nope. Baby here safe and healthy matters infinitely more than whatever imaginary ideal L&D. Well, and my being ok. The main risk seems to be the usual induction risk – chance of C-section is higher.

In a fit of panic shopping last week, I bought all the basics — diapers, wipes and so on. We don’t have a huge amount of clothes but we were planning to wait till we figure out what we need first anyways.

And I’m trying to figure out what to mentally prepare for. There’s some likelihood of a short NICU stay — with GD, sometimes the baby has trouble with sugars at first. That’s fine — this is one of the best hospitals in the area and I trust their care. Also there’s always the possibility of issues like jaundice. But all these are known things that doctors know how to manage. Also mentally preparing for a possible C-section.

So big things left — we need to decide whether to bank cord blood or not. And if so, with who. I’m inclined to bank, if only to (indirectly) support the scientific research. But this also depends on the cost. Thoughts?

It’s funny (by which I really mean sad) how much you’re aware of negative outcomes post-infertility. I have been meaning to donate my leftover IVF meds. Of course I waited till the first trimester was over so I’d feel more secure. Then with the GD, I was never sure what to expect. Now… now I’m still worried about stillbirth risks. And so we still haven’t donated meds because … well, I want to be prepared for all outcomes still. And I don’t have the same confidence that so many of my friends seemed to have had. And so I will wait another 3 weeks before donating and then.. hopefully I can breathe.