Update from yesterday

I think a lot of my stress in the last few weeks is due to the following :

• I can eat low carb (ish) and keep sugars in check. But eating 150g carb AND keeping glucose down seems.. less doable.
• Feeling out of control of my own body. Whatever I do, it only sorta listens.
• Feeling like my opinions are being downweighted – with doctors as well as with extended family

But you know, I really have to snap myself out of this. Because the huge huge silver lining to all this — THIS IS TEMPORARY. One way or another, come August, I’m done. That’s only a bit more than 4 months from now. That’s a limited time period. Compared to all the fertility treatments where every single month had such high emotional stakes because we never knew if it would work or what was going wrong or if it work ever work — GD? This is solvable. Or at least manageable. And we know when the challenges will end.

So I need some meds. As long as I’m taking them safely, big deal. Baby needed meds to exist, apparently baby still needs meds to grow. Or rather mommy needed meds to make baby and now mommy needs meds to grow baby. It’s not ideal no. But it’s only temporary. And this is the mantra that I’m going to keep telling myself – it’s all temporary.

Also I keep reminding myself (but need to tell myself even more) – everyone had some issue or the other with their pregnancy. It’s all common and there’s nothing you can really do about it. And that’s also normal.

I will say, this is all a far cry from the things that all those magazine articles tell you about pregnancy. No, the worse thing is not stretch marks. Or the nausea. Or even the peeing when you sneeze or whatever. Those are normal (at least in that they occur in the majority of women). The worst thing is when things aren’t going the way that they should be and you’re plunged into a whole world of interventions that you’re vastly uncomfortable with but there’s no way out but through it so you grit your teeth and try to make it through. (Hmm, this kinda sounds familiar…)