24 Weeks

Viability! We still have a ways to go but somehow reaching this point feels like a milestone to me. Baby, you have to hang on for a while longer but so far, you and I, we seem to be doing ok.

Pregnancy Symptoms: Ok, tummy has definitely popped. But still most people don’t seem to notice – I suppose my normal clothes are forgiving enough to hide a bump. I’m slowly shifting into maternity clothes (mostly just leggings – enough of my regular clothes fit that I might not need much else). And clothes I buy now should ideally work post-partum as well. Also maternity pants/leggings/PJs are sooo comfy. Stretch marks magically appeared a couple of weeks ago. Ah well, it happens. And in more unpleasant symptoms I’ve been getting some heartburn (which as far as I can tell is entirely related to position) and some lightheadedness (low BP? I can’t tell. All I know is its definitely not sugar related).

Gestational Diabetes: Sugars are under control. With a lot of work in diet/exercise. I went through a funk last week about the whole thing – mostly I’m feeling trapped at home because going out is so difficult. I carry my own food even when I go to friends’ houses. I can’t eat out easily. Even something like shopping is hard because I need to eat every couple of hours and there’s nothing in most cafes/restaurants that I can eat. I keep telling myself that it’s only a few more months. Once baby is here, I’m strapping baby on and going out for an ice cream. And waffles.

That being said, this experiment of the last couple of months has made it clear to me that this is my ideal regimen. But right now it’s too restrictive for the long term so I’ve been thinking about ways to make it more practical post-delivery.

It’s funny because in someways I’m healthier than I’ve been in a long while. My Hba1c is at 5.4 — lower than any other measurement of that in the last 4 years (which had been stable at 5.6). I’m back to my yoga-days flexibility (umm, except for forward bends. Tummy makes that a bit hard). I’m losing weight, sorta. My weight itself is the same as it was 12 weeks ago. Which means baby (and placenta) are gaining weight but I am losing weight if that makes any sense. And over the last week, I’ve noticed other signs that are consistent with this theory — my bra cup sizes are a bit too big, my back fat is almost gone, my arms are a tiny bit slimmer. I used to be worried about it and so I check in about each time with my OB but she’s pretty happy with things. And we’ve been doing growth ultrasounds and baby’s in good shape.

Emotionally: Enh, I’ve been better. The GD has been getting to me a bit. As is the huge piles of work both at work and at home. I’ve been arguing with Hubby because I feel like he’s not taking enough off my plate wrt setting things up for baby. Yes, it’s early. But we have the space for the stuff for now and not doing it is just extending my checklist and stressing me out. I feel like even though baby is due in early August, I’m mentally planning for an early arrival in July and so want everything in place by June. And there’s a huge amount of my non-work time that goes into management of my diet/exercise and I don’t think he quite gets the mental load of all the management.

My patience for unasked for comments (which was always low) has gone even lower. A few weeks ago, I sent a (I thought) nice pic of myself+tummy to my family chat group. M-i-l’s comment: “Cute tummy. But you look thin.” Which was really unnecessary and possibly well meant but after I spent hours each work working out my diet and more hours exercising all to ensure health of the baby with as little medication as possible and an enormous amount of discipline to keep all this up — that was not appreciated. My diet/exercise is more carefully thought out and calibrated than hers (or hell, anyone she knows).

My mom (who has diabetes) took a cue from me and is doing a very similar exercise. She’s seeing fasting numbers that she hasn’t seen in years. And realizing that she might not need half the meds she’s on. Together… well, I’m sure there are friends of ours now who are like “don’t pick up or we’ll hear another monologue on carbs and sugars.”

I think we’ve become huge advocates, not for following this diet exactly but rather using your body’s cues to guide your diet/lifestyle. Not everyone is the same, and other than some broad principles, I don’t think one person’s optimization helps another.

Baby: And last but not least, a check in on baby. Baby is strong. He’s super active and moves/kicks a ton. I still can’t differentiate between the two. Est weight is 1lb 10oz. In 66th percentile for size. So in spite of all the single artery cord, GD, everything.. he seems to be thriving.

We told one of our close family friends that we were expecting and in the conversation, it came up that I got the flu during the pregnancy. And he said the nicest thing – ‘That the baby survived the flu and is doing ok now is a really good sign for the baby being strong and healthy’. And it feels a little like that. This little embryo is a triumph over so much for us. You have a lot to live up to, little one!


Reactions to Glucose Monitoring

Monitoring glucose 4x a day necessarily means that some of that monitoring comes during my work day. I’m been… not shy about it. I mean, I try and do it discreetly but half the time, it’s during a meeting. And I really don’t want to be poking myself and checking the bathroom where there’s barely any counter space. So I just do it on my lap or at my desk. And if I’m at a friends house, I just do it wherever.

It’s been an interesting social experiment watching people’s reactions. And here are some of them:

  • “Is everything ok? Are you feeling well?” (This was genuinely meant and I had to explain, I’m not sick, I’m pregnant. He was really sweet about it.)
  • “Eww.” (This was from someone whose spouse is a cardiologist. And I was at my desk in a corner so if you don’t want to see blood, don’t look.)
  • *Does not break eye contact with my hands* (We were having a conversation. And she never ever broke eye contact with my hands while I was doing my thing even though I was looking at her more than my hands.)
  • One guy was really chill about it – I explained it was gestational diabetes and then we started talking about issues with medical treatment.
  • Another guy I could tell wasn’t sure what was going on and wanted to ask but decided not to (I like him – I think he suspected various things but didn’t want to intrude).
  • “You have to check 4 times a day!!” (Yes, it’s a lot of work but seriously you commenting about how difficult it is doesn’t make my life easier.)

Week 22

We’re getting there… I’m impatient to hit the week 24 point of viability. Why? I’m not sure – I suppose it feels safer at that point? And a round up of various parts of the pregnancy:

Gestational Diabetes: Somewhat to my surprise, things are actually going ok. I’ve gotten onto a track with the glucose control. Also fully switched endos to the nice supportive one. We had an appointment last week where she was basically like “You’re doing a good job. Don’t worry about occasional spikes. And if at any point you feel it becoming too much, don’t worry or beat yourself up, we’ll start on insulin – you don’t have to feel like you have to keep up with all this.” I’ve been kinda run down and exhausted for the last couple of days. Hopefully that’s just me running low on hydration but if that continues, I’m taking a step back and going for the insulin. No point in driving myself to the ground just to avoid the meds.

I ideally wanted to hit 24 weeks without insulin – even if I call it quits now, I would have hit 22.5 which isn’t bad. And I’m proud of myself for getting this far. I’ve learnt a ton about my body in this whole process. And a ton of good techniques for me to incorporate into my life for the long term.

So far what’s been working is cooking 2 meals/week and alternating them for lunch and dinner. I have a backup meal of open faced sandwiches if one of those runs out. And sometimes buy a salad/quiche from the cafeteria. I do allow myself treats – the occasional chocolate or ice cream (all carefully portion controlled for carbs). I’ve been quite selfish about my meals. My bil is visiting and I made this paneer dish for one of my dishes of the week. I could tell that he wanted some (it turned out really well) but I emphatically do not share. I put in a ridiculous amount energy into figuring out what to eat, making it, accounting for correct portion sizes to get the right balance of calories, carbs, fat and protein to handle someone else messing up my calculations, I don’t care how rude you think I am.

Other symptoms: I think I’m just surprised that nothing else has really gone wrong. Perhaps TMI but every time I feel some fluid, I’m terrified it’s blood and have to stop myself from rushing to check. So far its been ok but I think that might be why I’m so impatient to hit 24 weeks.

I get occasionally light headed and dizzy. I thought it was from lower sugar but now that I have a glucose monitor, I can see that it’s not the case. Turns out that my BP is on the lower side. My BP’s usually been around 120/80 but lately it’s pitching down to 110/70 or a bit lower. The endo thinks it’s all the exercise. Nothing to worry about for now but yet another thing to check up on. She was like “if it’s still an issue, I’m going to find myself in the strange position of prescribing more salt in your diet.”

I’m starting to get lower backaches so I’m trying to be more conscious of including yoga/pilates/stretching in my exercise to help with that.

Weight gain: I’m still only ~9lbs up from my pre-pregnancy weight. But baby seems to be growing well, so I figure I’m losing weight and baby is gaining it. I do look pregnant now though some things I wear can still disguise the belly. And for the most part, I’m still in my regular clothes though I’ve learnt that maternity PJs are awesome! I’m buying more!

Baby movements: I’ve realized that I’m so possessive about this baby – this is my baby that we struggled to make and grow and nourish. For some reason, I was surprised to realize Hubby feels the same too. I think he’s almost jealous that I can feel the baby so regularly and it’s an experience that’s beyond him. He likes to talk to the baby though mostly it just makes me feel awkward and weird. He’s tried touching my belly to feel the movement but it’s still pretty soft and he doesn’t quite know what to expect. So the other day, we just stared at my tummy for like 10 minutes and when he finally saw movement, well, the awe and wonder on his face was worth all the injections and pain and everything from the last few years.

He’s going to be a good dad and it’s just so nice to know this. I’m still clearly going to be the planner of us which is I suppose the role division that works best for us. I’ve been the one putting together the registry and figuring out what to buy. At some point he asks me, ‘Is there a thing that I can use to wear the baby and work out things on the chalkboard at the same time?’ Which is so totally him. This is the same guy who once woke me up in the middle of the night to explain eigenvalues. And the other day, while asleep, started talking to me about some changes in a paper before realizing that no, I was not his collaborator and that it was midnight. I rather hope baby gets his passion and drive and energy.

To share or not to share

Something I’ve been thinking about is how open to be about our fertility struggles. When we’ve told friends that we’re expecting, we often casually mention ‘yeah, we used IVF, it was hard’ or something. Ofc the close friends knew we were going through all these treatments/failures.

It’s been a very conscious decision on my part to be open about this. In the beginning it was primarily for my own sanity, so I had people I could talk about things with, even if they didn’t actually understand what was involved. Some of that decision was also to normalize the need reproductive intervention, for myself as well as society at large.

We haven’t announced on social media yet and probably won’t for another few months. (Yes yes, I know there are tons of opinions about social media and I’m not getting into that but for various reasons I do want to announce things on Facebook.) And I had always planned to announce it in a way that made it obvious that this was a non trivial path for us (not details but more of a commentary on how common fertility issues are and have compassion and such). For instance, I thought it was pretty powerful when Zuckerberg talked about his family’s challenges in having children.

But I find myself wondering if this is the right move. I know there will be people who’ll say stupid things (“Oh there are so many parentless babies to adopt”, “Oh how could you spend the money on a luxury treatment” and so on). Perhaps I’m wrong and I’m not giving them the benefit of the doubt but I’m skeptical. So I can think of several ways to handle it:

  • Announce without any mention of fertility issues. But this feels like I’m losing an opportunity to make a good point and I truly believe that one of the values of a place like Facebook is to bring more awareness on a personal level to issues like infertility.
  • Delete stupid comments. (And potentially de-friend them).
  • Ignore stupid comments.
  • Respond with snark to stupid comments. (“Oh thank you for offering to sponsor the $30k needed to adopt! We really appreciate it!”)
  • Respond to educate. (“Well, there is an underlying medical issue which treatments seek to correct.”)

Any advice? How open were you all to extended circles when talking about pregnancy?

Week 20

Baby’s growing well! That’s by far the most important thing! He’s also super active – I had been feeling what I thought were gas bubbles and then made the connection and realized it was baby. Baby wouldn’t stay still for the exam either.

Over the last several weeks I’ve been really stressed about how baby was doing. With the GD, every time a ketone/glucose test result is a little high, I wonder if my choices are damaging the baby. If I restrict carbs too much (and sometimes not even intentionally, I’m just not hungry) and ketones go up, I’m worried that I’ve affected baby’s brain development. If I eat too much and my glucose goes up, I’m worried that I’m affecting baby’s lung development. It feels like a huge amount of responsibility that’s weighing me down and I alone am responsible for. I keep having to tell myself that our bodies are reasonably robust and not as sensitive to day to day changes and most babies turn out ok.

I really love my OB. She basically said “Baby’s growing well. Don’t worry. You’re doing everything right.” which was exactly what I needed to hear. She also told me to listen to my body and the glucose levels. Which is helpful because I’m often struggling to hit the targets of my endo who wants me to eat 2100 cal/day. I’m more comfortable with ~1800-1900 cal and really struggle to get to 2100. Strange problems I know. All of GD is such a balancing act between getting enough nutrition and not spiking glucose.

In other things, my OB doesn’t think this is diabetes but rather pre-existing borderline diabetes (courtesy of PCOS) that the pregnancy pushed into diabetes. For now it doesn’t make a difference but it means that the diabetes won’t magically resolve after pregnancy. Still, a lot of the changes I’m making now might help control it post-partum.

Also in other weird pregnancy things, the umbilical cord has only 1 artery instead of 2. Apparently this occasionally happens. No known cause and nothing you can do. Something to watch out for is whether the baby is getting enough nutrition and growing big enough. And with the diabetes, the risk is baby growing too big so.. everything will balance out? Idk. But baby’s size is good so seems ok for now.

Everything else seems fine: Cervix is closed and long. Not sure what that means but doctor was happy. Placenta is low but she said that it’s unlikely to grow over the cervix. Baby has all his organs and there’s blood flow where there should be and bones where there should be and eye sockets and even the eye lens (which was a super creepy image but totally cool). The radiologist got annoyed with all our questions but both Hubby and I though it was all so cool and fascinating. We could see the spine! And ribs. And the femur and tibia and everything.

And on a different note random stupid comments from the last few weeks:

  • “Why didn’t you time your due date better?” (referring to the fact that I’ll probably not hit the FMLA requirement).
  • “Are you eating enough protein? What about protein biscuits/supplements? Enough calcium” This from a relative-in-law who (a) is male (b) was hardly an active participant in his wife’s pregnancy and (c) isn’t exactly in a position himself to comment on someone else’s diet *cough, cough*. This is also after it was clear that I’m extremely careful with my food.
  • *waves bye* to my belly after saying bye to me. I apparently am one of those people who do not find it cute. And this is totally not the sort of relationship I have with this person. I was soo weirded out. Next time, I’m going to start talking to his stomach “Are you digesting properly? Did you like the food that you were fed?”

Random thoughts

I don’t know if this is a common view but I’m viewing pregnancy as the existence of two separate entities – me and not-me. So me, I’m reasonably healthy and so is baby not-me but baby not-me does stuff that pushes my body into less healthy zones (ie GD). It’s like a weird dichotomous existence for a while.

Sometimes I wonder what baby is doing. Like, how is he ok going upside down so much? God knows I get dizzy fast. Doesn’t he? Or does size make the gravitational/BP difference irrelevant? And what does it even mean that he’s awake? Does he observe things? Like what? Muffled sounds of the shitty TV shows I watch? Can he see? I know this has been happening for millenia but somehow it’s new and weird and fascinating.

I have to say, all this diet and exercise control is teaching me so so much about how to eat for my body. My mom (who has diabetes) was inspired by my determination and is doing the same thing (testing glucose, monitoring diet and exercising). I won’t follow it this strictly but post-pregnancy, I probably will follow a more lightweight version of this diet. And I’ve learnt a ton. Like:

  • 15 min walk post meal does a lot to lower blood glucose. Endo: “basically exercise acts like a shot of insulin”. Also the closer to the meal it is, the more effect it has.
  • Total carbs per day matter less than per sitting carb consumption. Obviously total carbs still matter but if you are allowed a max of x carbs/meal and y carbs/snack while leaving an hour between each thing, there’s only so much you can eat.
  • Nothing is really bad. Carbs are good. Protein is good. Fats are good. Hell, sugar’s good too. But everything in moderation.
  • There isn’t that much difference between the whole grains and more refined ones in terms of glucose. But the whole grains have a bit more protein and tons of other healthy stuff so they’re still preferable. Ditto fruit sugars vs refined sugar.
  • Resistance training is importance because it builds muscles helping decrease insulin resistance.
  • Eating small meals + lots of snacks really works for me. Tbh, even pre-pregnancy, that’s sort of how I used to eat. Just even smaller meals now with more snacks.
  • Processed food in this country is ridiculously unhealthy by.. most metrics.
  • Eating out is a bitch. I ate brunch outside a few weeks ago which was amazing and perfect for glucose. But it takes a lot of mental work. We’re going to a friend’s place this weekend and I just said ‘sorry, but I’m bringing my own food’. It’s too hard to calibrate/measure someone else’s food.
  • A version of this diet might be an easy way for me to lose weight (in the future)
  • And with some luck, I might end this pregnancy in better shape than I started just based on the amount of exercise I’m doing.

Anyways, after taking what the dieticians said with a pinch of salt and basically following my body/blood tests more, I seem to be hitting a decent midway point. I’m probably a bit on the low side on calories but on days I’m hungrier, I add more cheese/fats, on others, less. The dietician kinda looked at my meals and was like ‘well, if you go on insulin, you can have more than salads’. But honestly, I like salads. And I’m fine with having them, maybe not everyday but most days. Plus mine are pretty hefty. Actually this diet isn’t massively different from my usual. Just.. adjusted a bit. And consciously adding more calories.

So yesterday was a perfectly calibrated day (for me). Food for the day:

  • Breakfast: Think Thin Oatmeal (ok so for some reason, this is the only oatmeal that works for me. Normal unflavored Quaker Oats spikes up sugars.)
  • 15 min brisk walk right after
  • Morning Snack 1: Homemade smoothie (frozen berries + almond milk + spoon of peanut butter + avocado + spinach)
  • Morning Snack 2: ~10 pistachios
  • Lunch: Nachos w/ beans and cheese and veggies (ok, not the healthiest but I wanted a change. I counted out the nachos to make sure I was ok carb wise. And after 10 loaded nachos, I was surprisingly full).
  • Walked between labs schlepping a lot of weight
  • Standing desk for ~30 min
  • Afternoon Snack 1: Greek yogurt (I need to sub this out with plain greek yogurt with fresh fruit + nut add-ins)
  • Afternoon Snack 2: Cucumber + hummus + homemade pesto
  • Afternoon Snack 3: A tiny amount of chai (which is homemade so the only carbs come from the milk itself) + pumpkin seeds. And by tiny, I mean like 4oz of which only 2oz is milk and the rest is water.
  • 10min barre-ish workout
  • Afternoon Snack 4: Seeded cracker + mascarpone cheese + sliced strawberries (this is currently my favorite snack!)
  • Dinner: Salad (it’s really filling because I put beans and chickpeas and cheese. And croutons. Because if it’s not spiking with them yet, might as well).
  • 30 min of moderate speed biking (its at like 6-7mph most of the time)
  • Bedtime Snack: Glass of milk (I need some carby night snack or my ketones don’t do so hot)

Another thing I’ve learnt is while this sort of diet/lifestyle takes too much energy for most people to follow (hell, even for me for longer stretches of time), this country really really eats unhealthily. Ok, so maybe I’ve been watching too much of diners, drive-ins and dives. Mostly I’m shocked at the amount of fat, salt and calories in each of the meals shown. I mean, unless you’re a construction worker or an athlete or something where you need 4000 cal/day I cannot see why portion sizes are that big. Especially since most of these places seem like regular places to eat. Honestly, I’m coming to believe that taxing the hell out of sodas/fast food/processed food would do a lot for public health. And supplementing that with subsidies for local small-scale farmers/other way to make fresh food cheap.

Update from yesterday

I think a lot of my stress in the last few weeks is due to the following :

  • I can eat low carb (ish) and keep sugars in check. But eating 150g carb AND keeping glucose down seems.. less doable.
  • Feeling out of control of my own body. Whatever I do, it only sorta listens.
  • Feeling like my opinions are being downweighted – with doctors as well as with extended family

But you know, I really have to snap myself out of this. Because the huge huge silver lining to all this — THIS IS TEMPORARY. One way or another, come August, I’m done. That’s only a bit more than 4 months from now. That’s a limited time period. Compared to all the fertility treatments where every single month had such high emotional stakes because we never knew if it would work or what was going wrong or if it work ever work — GD? This is solvable. Or at least manageable. And we know when the challenges will end.

So I need some meds. As long as I’m taking them safely, big deal. Baby needed meds to exist, apparently baby still needs meds to grow. Or rather mommy needed meds to make baby and now mommy needs meds to grow baby. It’s not ideal no. But it’s only temporary. And this is the mantra that I’m going to keep telling myself – it’s all temporary.

Also I keep reminding myself (but need to tell myself even more) – everyone had some issue or the other with their pregnancy. It’s all common and there’s nothing you can really do about it. And that’s also normal.

I will say, this is all a far cry from the things that all those magazine articles tell you about pregnancy. No, the worse thing is not stretch marks. Or the nausea. Or even the peeing when you sneeze or whatever. Those are normal (at least in that they occur in the majority of women). The worst thing is when things aren’t going the way that they should be and you’re plunged into a whole world of interventions that you’re vastly uncomfortable with but there’s no way out but through it so you grit your teeth and try to make it through. (Hmm, this kinda sounds familiar…)

Week 18

Sloooow progress.

Glucose is … well, it’s all mentally draning and I’m a bit bluesy about it all but it’s so far ok. I met the nutritionist today which was great. She was very encouraging and clarified a bunch of stuff. Such as I actually was going too low with carbs. So now I’m introducing more carbs back into my snacks. So yay fruits! On the other hand my lunch was really not good glucose-wise so I’m not too happy about that.

Mostly I’m just kinda mentally exhausted with pregnancy and want baby to be here. I’m constantly worried about everything all the time. Am I gaining too much weight? Am I gaining too little weight? Are my ketones ok? What exercises should I do? Am I causing my baby to be messed up because I’m not eating the right thing? Will this piece of chocolate harm the baby? What did I do wrong that I was diagnosed so early?! Will there be other repercussions for baby?

It’s all very far from the peaceful pregnancy that I had imagined. Somehow I thought that once I got pregnant, it would be easier to be pregnant.

And then there’s all the family drama. Short story is that in spite of living halfway across the world, in-laws want to visit right after baby is born. Preferably for a month but even just a week to ‘peek in and see the baby’. I was not expecting that. And they phrased it in a way that we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t. (Also to note, the expectation would be that we’d pay for it). For all this, they’re very nice people. But frankly I want my mom around for my labor and delivery. Also they’re way more religious than hubby and I and it has a way of invading every part of life. So I’ve been arguing with Hubby about why on earth are they asking instead of waiting for our cue? Hubby at some point said that it’s his son too and he wants his parents to be there. At which point, I exploded – I was the one who dealt with months on end of treatments and injections, I was the one who’s dealing with all sorts of lifestyle interventions and medicines, I’m the one dealing with all the side effects of hormones, I’m the one doing all the mental planning for my daily food, I’m the one doing all the planning for everything baby-related. And frankly, I’m the one who’s the actual patient, at least for now.

Mostly I do not want that many extra people at home. We’ve never said that we don’t want them around or anything. Just not at the birth or in the immediate time after. So it’s been a few weeks of going round and round about all this without any conclusion. Bah. So mostly I’m just frustrated and annoyed with a whole bunch of things in life.

Glucose Monitoring comparisons

Ok this is probably a weird post and completely irrelevant for pretty much everyone. Still, I kinda hope my insurance company sees this and deals with it (BCBS – pay attention).

My doctor (the one who retired after terrifying me) gave me a Contour Next meter. When it came time to get new test strips, *surprise* insurance doesn’t cover this brand. This is in spite of checking at the doctor’s office that it is covered. I only had a couple of strips left so I shelled out $75 for 50 strips (which was the smallest size) until the endocrinologist could prescribe the meter/strips for the brand that is covered by my insurance. Enter the One Touch. Which I hate. Let’s go over why:

  • First thing that you notice is that the test strips are so flimsy that each time I try and grab one, I end up with several in my hand.
  • There are no second chances. If there isn’t enough blood in the first prick, that’s it. So I routinely end up using 2 test strips for a single test because the first one would error out. Sometimes a 3rd because results are buggy. 1 week in and I’ve used up most of a 50pack box.
  • The lancets are $#%#! to get out of the lancing device. I stabbed myself this morning attempting to get it out. (Ok, actually after reading the owner’s manual now, it turns out that there’s an ejection button. Still, this gets dinged for being less user-friendly and needing more steps).
  • Meter feels cheaper. (Actually I don’t really care about this but if I’m listing issues with this, I might as well).

The few things that are nicer in One Touch: the carrying container is sleeker and the lancets are easier to put in.

In the end, I’m pretty sure I’m paying more for these just because of the sheer number of test strips I go through. Now BCBS, wouldn’t it be better to shell out a tad more for a better meter resulting in better usage?

I will say both meters have issues. There’s tons of user error possibilities plus meter errors. Some weird things that I have seen:

    • High numbers post-breakfast. Two tests within 30 sec of each other on the same finger, same lancing site had a 20 pt difference. 10 min walk brought it down another 20 points. Oh and I apparently didn’t wash my hand cream all the way off so that might have contributed to the drop as well. Turns out that my hand cream has honey in it.
    • 20 pt difference when using different fingers/hands (again, within a minute of each other).
    • Same lancing depth in different parts of the finger result in different amounts of blood (basically the same region but on the left side of the finger vs right side of the same finger).
    • Manuals indicate that once you’ve used it, it’s all a biohazard. I mean, fair enough. BUT you’re (as in the doctor) are recommending this for daily use, multiple times a day. How on earth do you avoid exposure to others??


Basically I’m not a fan. Even less so when you think that doctors are using this sort of buggy number to prescribe insulin. Any wonder I’m fighting so hard against it?


Some fun stuff (for a change)

I macakede a cake for Hubby’s birthday. And at this point I’m gaining confidence in working out carb counts and meals so I actually had a piece (that tiny piece in the picture is mine). Frosting was amazing so definitely doing this again! The holes are form the candles so it was slightly less messy than it looks 🙂

And it’s the small wins that make all this manageable!