You know how you’re kinda excited each time you get a package in the mail? That’s kinda how I felt about my meds delivery. Well, also paranoid that we would miss it/the ice would wear off/the delivery guy would break something. But mostly weirdly excited. I think its just that all my wishing that I wasn’t on this path doesn’t change the fact that this is my path. Given that, I might as well get moving and start the journey.
In the meantime, I’ve been trying to familiarize myself with the process, watch the injection videos, and generally get myself into a decent state of mind.
The injections themselves don’t scare me (well, not the subcutaneous ones at least). The side effects worry me a bit. Overstimulation – well, that’s the doctor’s responsibility to control for that so I’m not thinking about it. Nausea, tiredness, whatnot — all par for course with any meds. But bloating, constipation — not what I would have thought of (thank you ladies of the blogosphere for giving me a heads up). It’s not that I’m scared of those; just that I’m not sure how to handle them. Does heat help? Mint tea? Walking more? Walking less? Eating.. fiber? Any tips?
The thought of egg retrieval freaks me out. There are too many variables for my type A brain to be comfortable with — the lack of control, the long needles in rather sensitive parts, the logistics. Mostly I’ve been trying to talk myself into a frame of mind where I let go — the doctor/clinic is good; they’ve done this tons of times; and IVF isn’t that rare a procedure.
After that — actually I’m not too worried about things after that. The growing embryo(s) have nothing for me to do other than cheer them on. The transfer itself seems easy. And then it’s PIO shots for a while but I figure I’ll be used to shots by then. And progesterone kinda sucks but I’ve dealt with it before.
When it comes down to it, its really only like 2 shitty weeks and then 2 waiting weeks and .. done.
Oddly enough, I find that I’m not that worried about outcomes. At this point, I can’t change anything I’m doing to affect that so… it’s on someone else. The doctor? The clinic? My body? Luck? God, maybe. But not really on me and that gives me some comfort.
Also w00t! it was all covered by insurance. I was kinda terrified we’d owe thousands but in the end, it was around $500. Admittedly they did some brand/generic substitution to get there but whatever. So yay for that! (That bit of news was probably the thing that made me happiest in a while).