First order of business when I got home was to call my RE and get a prescription for progesterone. The second was to start tackling the mountain of laundry. 40+ days into the cycle and no sign of a period. It was expected and I managed to wait till the last day before I took a pregnancy test (-ve).
Taking the provera dose this time was oddly depressing. I think with each induced cycle, I’m completely paranoid about harming a potentially healthy pregnancy. Of course, this is all ridiculous – I’ve taken too many tests/confirmed in multiple ways that there isn’t a pregnancy but some small part of me is eternally hopeful that this one is the one that worked. Well, I never said that I was being rational.
I don’t know if it was all the travel or the provera but I’ve been so tired. Like fall asleep at promptly at 8pm, right after dinner. And even after sleeping 9+hrs being tired. Not sleepy really, just tired. I felt the same thing with another progesterone formulation (prometrium), so I wonder if this is similar?
Since moving to our apartment, I’ve started a little indoor garden. I’m historically incredibly bad at maintaining plants – I’ve even killed a spider plant which is notoriously hard to kill. I’m going to fault the lack of enough light because, this time, many of my plants are thriving. I’ve found myself ridiculously pleased with their success. Even though my body is failing at growing a baby, at least, I’m capable of growing something successfully.
During all the travel, one of the books I read was Nia Vardalos’s “Instant Mom”. It was a wonderful read, but maybe not the best travel book. So much of her emotions and experiences resonated and I kept tearing up. I wonder what my fellow passengers thought. It did make me think more about this journey – how long we want to try, what happens if we can’t conceive, whether we would consider adoption and from where.A lot of this is premature, I know, but I’d rather have mental plans than be completely blindsided.